Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Wednesday, 25 July 2007

image for Ron Jeremy and Pete the Porno Puppet Warn kids: 'Don't watch Porn, until your 18!'
Pete the Porno Puppet says to your kids before you do: 'Don't watch Porn, until your 18!' Is it sending a mixed message?

Northridge, California - In an attempt to reduce the number of children exposed to pornography in today's voyeuristic society by multimedia savvy kids, porno, turned crossover reality TV, star, Ron Jeremy has teamed up with a children's puppet, named, Pete the Porno Puppet. Together they appear in a public announcement campaign called, The 'Don't Watch Porn, until your 18!' to be aired on TV.

Ron Jeremy and Pete the Porno Puppet both worked with children in the past before entering the porno business, but it is Pete who has worked closest with children most recently.

Pete regularly attended church picnics and little league baseball games way before he became known as Pete the Porno Puppet. Now, he can enjoy publicly attending those events as well.

Especially being able to participate in church dramas on Christmas Eve and Easter Sunday morning, reminding children at every opportunity to say away from porn and now get paid for it too.

"He really gets the message across," said Pastor Henry McDonald at Riverdale Church. "He uses a lot of visual aids too, which helps out because most the kids don't have the faintest idea of what he's talking about, let alone care, so he keeps their attention sharply focused on what he is saying like no parent I have ever seen do."

"We feel the program is a great success," said Buster Cherry, whose advertising credits include the tobacco industry's "Joe Camel, "and the pharmaceutical industry's "The One Less" commercial to "inoculate" young girls under 18 form the human papilloma virus, known to cause cervical cancer.

Pete the Porno Puppet is currently working on a couple of more controversial educational programs involving children as well.

One is for teens confused about their sexuality called, 'Scared Straight'. It is a teen intervention crisis team, basically, consisting entirely of recently converted formally sexually active teens, which swore to live the pure clean life of chastity now that they have contracted horribly incurable and high transmittable sexual diseases.

The other is helping reformed child molesters overcome their low self-esteem issues, due to an overwhelming lack of societal distrust; however, that is still in the planning stages because of the way current laws are written, interpreted and prosecuted.

As is the case with bleeding heart or liberal minded attempts of the church or State to raise your children, it maybe a good idea to sit down and talk with them about the dangers inherent with exposing a young undeveloped mind to porn or others that have before Ron Jeremy and Pete the Porno Puppet get their chance to. Say most parents that give a damn about their kids.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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