Written by Jean Le Fete
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Tuesday, 24 July 2007

image for Milk Cows Go On Strike! Britney Spears Lends Support!
Mad Cows!

Wisconsin Dells- Today in Wisconsin milk farm after milk farm came to a screeching halt when they discovered their milk cows were udderly disgusted with their treatment. Said one cow, on condition of anonymity, "We feel used, we give and we give and we give and what do we get in return? Silage! Were mad as hell and were not gonna take it anymore!"

Britney Spears was retained by the cows as their human spokesperson, on condition they would give her a whipped cream bath at the end. "I would just like to say that it is high time these cows were appreciated for what they do. Cold machines are used to milk them, how would the average farmer like to have their nipples hooked up to a machine twice a day? I've tried it and I can tell you, while it is somewhat erotic, its just no fun!"

The American Dairy Association issues this statement on behalf of the farmers: "While we find the views of the cows to have merit, we cannot agree with their methods. Miss Spears should mind her own business. This strike would have blown over with some extra molasses in their feed if she hadn't shown up. Now we have cows running around mooing 'Yakkity Yack! Yackity Yack!'. It just isn't civilised! They should think about which side their bread is buttered on!"

Another cow responded to the statement by saying, "They should remember where the butter comes from, our milk! Without us, they nothing! MOOOOOOOOO!"

Britney Spears is planning a protest concert to benefit the cows strike fund. No venue has been set, but ticket prices are likely to be a bale of hay per person.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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