Ron Paul, not to be outdone by President Bush, made arrangements to have his own colonoscopy done, even though he had one only 6 months ago. During his absence, he has designated his new running mate Michael Jackson to take charge of his campaign while he is unconscious.
In the operating room Doctors say they are on a record pace, having found over 30 polyps in the first two hours of the operation, including one that looks like the Virgin Mary. When this news was relaid to Jackson, he had this to say, "Owooooooo! I never met a Mary who was a virgin before! Mr. Ron Paul has to be someone special to have virgin polyps in his colon. I haven't heard about President Bush having no virgins in his colon. Ron Paul deserves your vote!"
When doctors were asked to comment on the number of polyps found in Paul, one said, "Doctor Paul has a history of polyps and he's a bit of a, well how does one put this delicately, he's a tight ass."
Doctors estimate that Ron Paul has close to 60 polyps in all, but most are probably benign. He is expected to regain conciousness this evening and will try to be on the campaign trail to moonwalk with his running mate.