Written by K.C. Bell
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Topics: George W. Bush

Sunday, 22 July 2007

image for President Bush Back Side
Do you see what I see?

Washington Toast - It was clear that the Saturday morning television news channels were flooded with President Bush's colonoscopy examination. Apparently nothing else was happening, if so, it wasn't mentioned. Not even a fake terrorist attack. All news was focused on the President's back door.

Had the homeland been attacked by terrorists, that news may have appeared as a crawl at the bottom of the screen. A miniature Rudolph Giuliani - about the size of a polyp - would have been walking around wearing a face mask, still insisting on fighting them over there; Homeland Security Michael Chertoff would be seen rubbing his stomach trying to get a gut read.

Saturday morning breakfast in bed viewing the news was accompanied watching tubes stretching down into rippling dark cavities no one but a bitter news producer working on Saturday morning would wish to explore; all under the guise of presenting the latest up to the very second news reporting.

Time to switch channels. The Bill Moyers' Journal on PBS presented letters to the editor with voice over about a debate on impeaching President Bush. This while the guy is undergoing the above procedure seemed a little insensitive. Well, his pay is okay, lives rent free, gets his own plane, has health insurance and didn't have to go to building 18 at Walter Reed Hospital, but time to switch channels.

Like Jaws, just when viewers thought it was safe enough to go back to the news channels, the news began breaking in with the latest bulletin about George's colon. Apparently, five polyps (not the size of Rudolph Giuliani on the crawl) were discovered by the tube armed with a flashlight, television camera and a whirling snipper.

Don't pass the croissants.

The five polyps, which had indeed been snipped, were FedEx to a lab for further study to diagnose whether they were malignant or benign. Seems, when he had the same procedure done fives years ago...

Time to switch channels.The Food Network is always a safe bet. Hopefully no one is preparing tripe or any other gastric organs.

Pass the black coffee, please.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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