Murphy, North Carolina (IP) - Ham radio operators in the bible belt stronghold of Murphy, North Carolina report that Jesus came into town today, picked up the ten commandment tablets and in a scene similar to the one where he chastised the money changers in the temple, angrily smashed them to smithereens.
The radio transmission was transmitted on a frequency of 14.313 in the 20 meter band. Apparently electromagnetic interference was being generated by the Holy One and had in effect created an electromagnetic pulse which had knocked out modern broadcast equipment and also rendered any car with a computer or solid state hardware in it as useless. Only cars built before 1970 were operative as of 1600 hours GMT.
Jesus then went to the local Walmart pharmacy and was given a prescription for ativan, a strong pre-surgery sedative, which the pharmacist claims sells faster than hot cakes to nervous country folks in the mountains and they can barely keep an adequate supply on the shelves to keep up with demand.
One reporter finally built up enough nerve to ask the Second Member (but not the least) Member of the Holy Triad what was illin him and he He Who Could Fish In The Middle Of A Large Lake If He So Chose To Without A Boat
(HWCFITMOALLIHSCTWAB) replied that these mountain bible belt folks get all worked up about not being able to post the ten commandments on government property and they post cheesy cardboard copies on their front lawns. At the same time these folks don't have a clue about the meaning of the golden rule and don't practice the teachings of (well You Know Who). They throw their trash out along the roadside thereby desecrating the Big Guy's creation, are cruel to animals and each other as well as those they see as outsiders. They resent new people moving into the area but would be the first ones to demand their right to move anywhere in the USA they chose because we are all American citizens (except for the Mexicans- May Alpha and Omega bless them).
He said he is tired of all of the hypocrisy and convenient mis-interpretation as well as ignorance of what the ten commandments are all about and says it is time for people to pay more attention to content rather than form and this includes music. He finished by saying that G.W. Bush should remember that the end does not justify the means. He pointed out that Bush has never attended a Sunday church service nor worked a full honest day in his life and that George and all others would have to account for all of this and more when they stand before the Great Book of Life before final judgement.