Written by Dipscott O'Blarney
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Topics: Money, Dollar, Monopoly

Saturday, 21 July 2007

image for Monopoly money more valuable than dollar - US Federal Reserve
The dollar is currently following the Vietnam dong in value

Recently, Chairman of the Board of Governors of the FED, met with a congressional panel in Washington DC to discuss US monetary policy and the continuing role of the dollar in international economics.

Though the discussion was intensely focused on the continuing role of the FED, the conversation between the chairman and the panel was very open- in fact, too open.

In what is being called the "most disastrous move on the part of US government since 1913," Ben Bernanke disclosed his opinions about the US dollar by half-heartedly mentioning that currently, "it should be worth less than 'Monopoly' money."

This information immediately caused the value of the dollar to plummet beyond that of even the Vietnam dong, and, as a consequence of the chairman's reference to the popular Parker bros game 'Monopoly,' attempted raids on Parker bros manufacturing plants have ensued; currently nearly two million US businesses are only accepting Monopoly money as currency- leading the dollar, in many cases, to be used as paper for legal pads, sticky notes (with adhesive), and even toilet paper.

This frantic transition has caused upset for the US wealthy and international economies, who are desperately attempting to slow their losses by selling US dollars as the aforementioned items, and consequently buy up as much monopoly money as possible.

The US government, however, is attempting to work out a deal with Parker bros to use their currency as the "new US dollar," and is currently securing all manufacturing plants with military personnel. Currently, however, the talks have hit a standstill as Parker bros insist that a stipulation of the deal should be "adding the monopoly guy to Mt. Rushmore," and US officials insist that his monocle would be far to difficult to carve into the rock without risking the rest of the presidential heads.

Though this situation has generally been hailed as "unexpected", "surprising", and "stunning", there are some economists and government officials who had apparently known of the devaluing of the US dollar and had predicted that a situation of similar caliber would occur.

Among them, congressman Ron Paul, who, in a recent press conference, explained "I told them, I said this was going to happen and, unfortunately, hardly anyone in the government listened to me. I hope this teaches us a valuable lesson." Though the lesson seems clear to many, Fox News has recently offered an explanation of this quote, noting that it was resoundingly "anti-semitic."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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