Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Al Gore

Thursday, 19 July 2007

image for Al Gore chomps his way through dozens of endangered species
Endangered species: eco-worrier Al Gore

Washington DC - (Rioters): Not content with serving up a 25lb Patagonian Toothfish - one of the world's most endangered marine species - for his daughter's wedding reception, Al Gore has been reported dining out regularly on dozens of other protected or endangered species in his bid to draw attention to their plight.

"Last month I sampled fried Giant Panda fritters in Beijing," Gore told the press today, "to generate awareness of the Chinese beasts' indigenous living conditions in a country which, let's face it, is still a totalitarian military disctatorship.

"These Giant Pandas' lives have been systematically ruined by emissions. Not sure exactly what sort of emissions. Might have been bovine methane for all I know 'cos there sure is a lot of cows grazing in Chinese fields right next to those bamboo plantations where the pandas are all holed up. What the hell.

"Then the roast Sumatran Tiger entree I sampled at a World Wildlife Fun funraiser certainly drew some attention from the anti-fur trade lobby which demanded to know what the chefs had done with the pelt.

"But in truth I expect they wanted to know what the chefs had done to the Sumatran Tiger's other body parts before ritualistically slaughtering it and videoing the whole spectacle, including the pre-death sex scenes, for the YouTube site.

"As for the snow leopard burgers that the Russians served at a Post G8 Summit reception, sure they tasted great and we had a good laugh about there being only another 23 members of the species in the wild.

"But nobody really gives a damnd about them because they don't generate much awareness for us eco-warriors and I would far rather be smeared with accusations of gorging myself on Sri Lankan giant turtles because ever since the Tsunami Disaster these sure get you a helluva lot of headlines in the press these days."

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