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Saturday, 21 February 2004

image for Three-Way Weddings OK'd In Vegas, Reno and Tahoe

Girl, Girl, boy; Girl, boy; Boy; Boy, boy girl; Girl, girl, girl.

Anyway you slice-it, it's three times the fun, and three-times the wedding in Nevada these days -- where bigger is better and biggest is best, and three lovers can now legally tie the slip-knot in the infamous Vegas wedding chapels

 Local officials have approved a controversial plan to allow three-somes to be married -- and, despite protests from some irate Mormon citizens, the Nevada supreme court has already ruled that the unions are as legal as anything else in the state -- and will finally be recognized by the great state that gambling made famous.

"This has been a long time coming", said newly-weds, Bob, Alice and Margaret in unison. "We were tired of hiding our hush-hush relationship behind closed shades. We like to do things together, we pay our taxes. This is Nevada, so we ought to be able to do what consenting adults want to do -- and think of it," they added, "three-times the wedding presents!"

According to Las Vegas wedding planners the "Three-way marriage" is hot and catching on all over the state. Wedding banquet halls are booking up fast, and some predict this could be the biggest trend to hit the city since three-card Monte.

 'It's almost perfect and well-balanced, everybody ends up happy in this situation," said the Reverend Leland H. Summers, owner and operator of Summers' Thrice-Drive-Thru-Marriage-Emporium and T-Shirt Shop, located conveniently on the Vegas Strip.

"It just makes sense, I've married a lot of couples here, and Vegas is a hard place to live as a married couple. Way too many temptations and possibilities. Most of these folks have jobs in a casino or 24/7 restaurants where their work-shifts have them working all different hours. These new three-way unions will assure that someone's' always home at night or during the day so no one will be tempted to stray or cheat on the other two, or take advantage. And so now folks don't have to search the casinos or motels or trailer parks for new partners -- there's always an extra one right at home."

 "If you could see the look on their faces when the nuptials are about complete, you'd see three people that are willing to forget about the ceremony and reception. Instead they're hell-bent to get to that honeymoon," said Rev. Summers. "They only want to be alone with each other and that has to be a good start for any marriage."

 Summers said recently three brides in matching pastel wedding dresses marched down the aisle together at Summers' Emporium and the event even rated a picture on the social pages of the Las Vegas Register-Gazette.

"We can't ignore these three-ways anymore," said register-Gazette social reporter, Angelica Smith, "In Nevada, we like to think of our social scene as cutting edge.

Sure, What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas but it's now beginning to happen everywhere too," Smith said. "We were first with legalized gambling, legalized prostitution, and quickie-divorces; we see these three-ways as a natural progression in the state of marriage. In Las Vegas we live by the "B-cup-runneth-over-philosophy. More is better; too much, is never enough," added Smith."

Bill Chap drives a cab in Las Vegas -- has for ten years. And he has witnessed hundreds of weddings, and up to the three-way weddings, "I thought I'd seen it all," said Chap"

"That was before I saw three Elvis' getting hitched-up the other night," said Chap, 'they were singing and strumming their guitars, and all saying, "thank-you very much" to each other and fussing with each other's side-burns and jump-suits -- it really was cute. And I'm seeing more and more of it every day. I guess I'm getting hip to it."

Chap said the three-ways have caused more than a few changes along the strip. One change he said -- was to lose his traditional Taxi sedan.

"We've switched over to mini-vans almost entirely," said Chap. "We had to. "The wedding parties these days is naturally quite a bit larger, with three mother-in-laws, three father-in-laws, Three Best men, and maids of honor," explained Chap. "Usually you've got children by other marriages, and Then of course there's usually three cakes, three leg garters, three ball and chains and who knows how many groomsmen, bridesmaids. bouquets, ushers and ministers.


I see the three-way as the ultimate gamble." said taxi driver Chap, who said he wouldn't really mind getting a piece of the three way phenomenon -- or at least the honeymoon.

 "I've been married four times already and there never seemed to be enough wife to go around for me. This could be what I've been looking for. Gambling is why people move to this town, and if you don't think two other wives or husbands added to the mix can't make your marriage interesting, and that it isn't somewhat of a gamble to marry two other people then you've got a different think coming.

Although don't know about the extra mother-in laws. that, I would probably have to get used to," said Chap. "But, this is Vegas -- How long before we're looking at Four-some weddings for the golf enthusiast?" wondered Chap, "maybe someday we'll have a Golf-Game Marriage right there on the greens in the middle of the desert -- it's probably just a matter of time,

after all this is Las Vegas."


-30-

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