Written by BerlyGirl
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Topics: Language

Monday, 16 July 2007

image for ColorAlphabet New Official Language of US
Roughly translated: "Tapeweutt Iuaoowoh"

A color-based letter system developed by artist Christian Faur was recently adopted by the United States as the new official language.

In a 432 to 0 vote, Congress decided early Monday morning to adopt Faur's artistic color system to replace English as the nation's official language. Initially developed as a method of expressing language through color, Faur's color system uses 26 unique colors to represent each of the 26 letters of the alphabet. White represents a space.

President George Bush stated in an April press conference, "This will help with some of the language barriers we have. Instead of thinking English or Canadian or Mexican, we can all communicate in color. There's no Mexican version of green, it's all the same. Plus it will keep people from making up their own letters."

US Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings is concerned how the change will affect public education and The President's No Child Left Behind goals. "It's going to mean a major renovation of the education system," says Spellings. "Books, keyboards, pens...it will all have to be changed."

There is no word yet on whether the change will effect previously published works or if current books and literature will be allowed a grandfather clause.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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