George Bush, leader of the free world, has been exposed as the leader of a freak turkey worshipping cult. Followers of course abstain from turkey flesh, bow in the presence of a turkey and call Bush "The Grand Gobbler."
The cult members reside on a ranch in northwest Texas; Bush regularly sneaks in an inspection during his visits to Crawford. When The Grand Gobbler arrives, a young turkey who has not yet laid an egg is selected for rituals. Members dress according to their greatest need, the sick in hospital gowns, desperate singles in lingerie and failing presidents in suit and tie. The turkey is placed on a small table and is fed a kernel of corn by each member to remind worshippers that turkeys have always fed people.
Although weird the cultists are a patriotic people, disappointed that Benjamin Franklin didn't get his way. He wanted the turkey to be America's national symbol.