Los Angeles - (Ass mess): An LA Galaxy PR company has said that the $1 million it shelled out to hire a crowd to greet footballer David Beckham and his daftass stick insect wife Victoria on their arrival in the US this morning was worth every penny spent.
The 32 year old UK midfielder was said to have personally masterminded the ploy after rumors that Californians couldn't give a toss about him or his over-exposed, over-dressed and mega-ambitious wife Victoria.
TV news crews reporting on the Beckhams' arrival were said to be unaware of the hired element of his meet and greet team waiting on the tarmac and assumed the fabled Beckham-mania was just part of the player's legendary appeal.
Beckham has just signed a five-year contract with the Los Angeles Galaxy which is paying him $32.5 million in salary for the duration.
But persistent rumors on the LA party-circuit have said the true cost of his hiring will not be known until wife Victoria owns up to how much Scientology has paid her towards the cost of her new LA home.
"One other story that won't die down concerns Victoria's paternity.
"Just before the Spice Girls band was launched in the 1990s London was awash with rumors that Posh's real father is Arnold Schwarzenegger and that her birth mother was an eleven year old love child of a very popular former US president whose kith and kin have gargantuan White House aspirations themselves.
"The UK press was gagged about this when Tony Blair did a huge personal favor to the US politician back in 1997.
"Other than than we're not allowed to tell."
Karl Rove is 69.