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Topics: Diet, Exercise

Thursday, 12 July 2007

image for Incredible New Diet Discovered

New York, New York (IP) - Scientists have stumbled onto a revolutionary new diet plan that threatens to put gymnasiums, diet pills, ridiculous looking exercise machines sold on television, dangerous surgery, and other dieting gimmicks out of business.

Dr.Van Nordstrum Von Strudel has found that by eating less and moving about more that a person can actually lose weight. His method involves weaning elephant people from their over eating ways by gradually making food portions on their dinner plate smaller and smaller in much the same way that drug addicts can be weaned of their habit by gradually reducing the dosage of their favorite drugs until the dosage is zero. He also claims that by drinking a glass of water with each meal instead of insisting on drinking high calorie drinks like soda and beer that the weight loss rate can be accelerated.

The other part of his amazing technique involves getting up and moving around more. Walking, bicycle riding, and gardening are listed as methods that sluggish folks can use to move around more in order to help shed the extra weight.

Upon hearing of his unorthodox methods many business executives who work in fields that could suffer financially should this diet become popular were calling Dr. Von Strudel a quack and were flooding television network offices with emails demanding that an unfavorable spin be applied to this story.

Other revolutionary ideas put forth by Dr. Von Strudel include substituting fruit for sugary treats, baking instead of frying, and eating more fish. He pointed out that the reason fish are so thin is simply because fish eat fish and other seafood and they move around a lot.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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