CCN (Crazy Cal News) - SANFORD, Fla. - A small plane carrying the husband of a NASCAR executive crashed into a neighborhood Tuesday and engulfed two houses in flames.
President Bush, a huge NASCAR fan, immediately called Tony Blair to have the National Security and Homeland Security joint departments look into the crash. As Bush suspected, the small plane had been hijacked by Al-Qaeda and flown into a Florida home.
This new tactic by Al-Qaeda members to crash into personal homes caused President Bush to enforce the National Security and Homeland Security Presidential Directive and take over direct control of both organizations, bypassing Congress. President Bush said, "I expect peeple ta call me El Commandur, cause it sounds Spanish. We have ta' stop these evil terrerists. We suspek that the Al-kida member was from the Ron Paul Campaign. Those guys will stop at nothing to restore that stupid ol' piece uh paper that's all faded and stuff. I mean, who in this aging day carse about thuh Constitshun?"
When TheSpoof.com reporter Cal Jennings asked why Al-Qaeda terrorists would bother committing suicide just to crash into someone's house, President Bush replied, "Ya' hafta git inside those guys minds. There irashunal. They don't think rite lik ah do. They hate freedom and they hate Americuh. They hate us fer are freedum. We've gotta attak Iran next. They's irahunul two!"