US and A - The SpaceElevator family tree sprouted a new bud over the weekend, as the young couple accepted the Labor and Delivery doctors' offer of a new baby girl during intense 24-hour negotiations in which the participants were locked together in a room.
"There were numerous moments when I was prepared to walk out on the negotiation process," said Monsieur SpaceElevator. "This was largely due to the fact that pregnancy and birthing periodicals somehow promise a thousand ways to have a picture-perfect and seamless childbirth. Evidently I live in a polar-opposite universe as I found the birthing process to be a messy, mind-blowing experience. Thank god my wife has such a high threshold for pain."
As someone who has actually watched The Exorcist alone in a secluded cabin in dark and mysterious woods -- and then went back for seconds to get even more freaked out by watching the extra-special director's-cut version -- SpaceElevator claims to understand the definition of "scary".
"Childbirth makes The Sixth Sense look like Bambi and the Seven Dwarves," continued the electroshock-therapy candidate -- having obviously lost the ability to form a coherent analogy. "But we are awefully happy with the outcome. I may have lost key verbal skills, but I think I'll just sit here and watch this baby instead. Bye-bye! Coo-coo-poo-poo..."