CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington - George Bush, head of the joint National Security and Homeland Security departments, announced their latest anti-terrorist technique that all citizens should immediately employ. The measure involves using red duct tape which should be placed over the cracks in your windows.
"That'll stop them nookulur wepuns of mass destrukshun," said Bush. "Besides... terrurists is skared of red."
George Bush then turned to his new appointee overseeing the National Security and Homeland Security joint departments for him, ex-Prime Minister Tony Blair and kissed him squarely on the lips.
"Heh, heh... I like to call him my little poodle," said Bush. "...But he's not that little," said Bush winking at Blair.
"Now all you little people will be safe from those bad, bad terrorists," said Blair, "and you can all watch our wedding on the new State TV Channel, FOX News. They will have an exclusive."
Reporter Cal Jennings asked, "Isn't a war on terror sort of like a war on dirt? What would you do? Start digging up all the dirt and sending it to Mars in a space craft?"
"That's a excelunt idea," said President Bush. "Ah'll git Toni rite on it."