March 10, 2011 WASHINGTON - President Ron Paul announced today that the national debt has been cut in half since he has taken office. Paul credited the wildly successful reform of Social Security and spending reductions.
His few remaining critics quickly responded that this was not the result of good policy, but rather due to the 5-10 crazed Ron Paul spammers who elected Paul and have since engaged in a plot to make it seem as if Paul's ideas actually work.
Sean Hannity said, "This marks another of what would appear to be fantastic achievements in the Presidency of Ron Paul. But it is merely an illusion of efficacy. Just like the declining cost of health care, rapid growth in GDP and rising esteem for America abroad, it's not real! It's just a handful of Democrats and crack pot libertarians making it appear that his policies work."
When asked by scores of callers supportive of Paul, to explain how one might "spam" away the national debt, Hannity launched into a tirade and banned any more calls from supporters of the President. His only call since has been from a man, claiming to have been a photographer, screaming about parasites. However, that call was cut short when nurses from the mental ward, in which the caller was confined, intervened.