Washington DC - (Ass Mess): Just 24 hours after receiving a Presidential pardon for his 30 month sentence imposed for perjury and obstruction of justice, Scooter Libby has "totally freaked out" and demanded the FBI gives him a bullet proof vest and round the clock protection.
"I know how their minds work!" Libby wailed today as his shrink confirmed he was only mildly delusional.
"That Presidential pardon is the best alibi anyone in the White House could ever have if they meant to kill me," Libby sobbed.
"Look at what happend to Clifford Baxter, the ENRON guy who committed suicide by shooting himself in the head three times at point blank range, and with a silencer on the muzzle."
Libby has been let off the custodial part of his sentence but still has probation and a whacking great big fine to pay which he says will bankrupt him.
"Is this what they want? To reduce me to a figure of ridicule, cast out of the magic circle, penniless and shunned by the GOP?
"If anything happens to me, like..er unexpectedly, my lawyer has the videotapes, the emails and the sperm-stained underwear.
"I'm sorry Dick but ya fouled up on me.
"Ain't gonna protect you about that Briteny paternity business anymore."
Kevin Ferderline is 29.