"Then he went outside to pee. He was a good soldier he. Went outside when he needed to to pee. For lunch he had spinach wraps. We paid him $7.35 an hour for his militaryism."
The above is an excerpt from George W. Bush's recently released military records. The records were made available because of scrutiny by the media on whether Bush avoided serving his country in the National Guard.
"We walked a long time. I was.. I mean He was so tired from walking so long. We made a... He made a tent out of sticks for the team. We playe... He played a war game and won it because his military skills were the best then and now. "
While the excerpts are cryptic to even Bush supporters, most normal people who can read at a third grade level realize that Bush's records were fabircated to vindicate the 43rd president.
"I'd even say he mighta wrote 'em hisself." Albert "Old Tomato" Smith, of Dallas, Texas said in an interview conducted by phone across the country.
"On page 7 he says, 'It is not me writing this. I am not writing these records this is official records of George W. Busch. Bush.'" said one Nebraska resident whose name is not important.
While most insiders declined comment, they all hinted that the key to discovering the truth lies in the fact that most military records "are at least run through a spell check at some point."