Written by Cal Jennings
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Monday, 2 July 2007

image for John McCain's Plan Backfired
John McCain Puzzled at Ron Paul's Turnout

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Iowa - John McCain's influence in keeping Ron Paul out of the Iowa Christian Alliance Republican debate backfired when Ron Paul showed up to greet over 1000 of his supporters in his own meeting next door. There were 1000 seats in the room, all filled, plus about 200 outside the door. This was greater than the number who showed up for all the rest of the Republican candidates put together.

"I just don't understand it," said McCain. "We were SURE that all that voting in the polls and all those comments about Ron Paul were just one or two hackers trying to steal our fire. Why are so many people concerned about their freedom and that old piece of parchment called the Constitution? Don't they have enough to do with their Xbox 360s and our government controlled television media? I thought the Christian Right had undermined the nature of Christ sufficiently to keep ALL Christians out of a movement like that, but I guess I was wrong. How are we going to advance the Progressive Republican Nazi Party when they have numbers like THAT?"

John McCain is still scratching his head trying to figure out what to do next.

"Maybe we can pass a law preventing Ron Paul and his supporters from using the Internet. If we put a tax high enough that only the RICH can post on the internet, that might do it."

Ron Paul has clearly been a thorn in the NRNC's side with his outlandish ideas about supporting the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. He even had the audacity to support the ideas presented by the Founding Fathers.

"Who uses quotes from old dead people anymore," said McCain. "What do they know. They've been dead for hundreds of years. I'd rather quote Britney Spears."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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