Kennebunkport, Maine - (Ass Mess): "Just what kind of shit do you imagine you got me into Mr President?" sobbed Vlad 'The Impaler' Putin to his Kennebunkport host George Bush Senior today.
"They're suing me in every country we've ever done business in with our preferential client dictators.
"And now they're threatening to post that video of you, me and Anne Coulter's labrador, the one you said George Tenet had destroyed along with the 9/11 stuff.
"I am totally and utterly screwed because of you!"
Putin is a guest at the Bush mobster cartel's summer retreat in Maine and has come weighed down with a lorry load of subpoenas alleging twenty years of assassination attempts of the Chevron Texaco majority shareholders.
"You sold me a bunch of trumped up crap as evidence," Putin moaned this morning as Bushes Senior and Junior tried to soothe a blistering row that sees Putin indicted in fifty countries on charges of attempted murder, extortion, blackmail, bribery, kidnapping, perverting the course of justice, defamation, conspiracy and fraud.
"You said 'Do this as a favor to me and I will make you Tsar of Russia'.
"Now look at the shit I'm in.
"if this stuff breaks on July 4th like their lawyers say it will I will be totally and utterly finished.
"And if I go down they the pair of you are coming down with me!
"Screw the Republic. And screw VECO.
"You ain't heard the end of this while I'm still alive!"