Written by Jack
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Sunday, 15 February 2004

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Bush Giving Strongest Defense Yet of His War Record

Houston, Texas - President George W. Bush issued his most virulent defense to date of his war record in the light of attacks from the Kerry Campaign HQ. While answering questions from an audience during a conversation on parental options and school choice at Archbishop Carroll High School in Washington D.C., he took the opportunity to strike back at the Kerry Camp.

"A lot of folks have been asking me about my war record and I just want to take this opportunity to set the record straight. In the three short years since I became Commander and Chief of the armed forces of the United States, I have successfully started a war in the Middle East, a war in Afghanistan and also supplied the arms and technology to dozens of other leaders around the to allow them to do the same. When the people of this great country re-elect me in November this year, I promise to start at least one, any possibly two, other global conflicts during my second term of office. Two down, two to go - now that's a record America can be proud of."

"Senator Kerry has a very long way to go before he can claim to have anything like the war record I enjoy," said Bush. "He has never started a global conflict of any importance, never authorized the bombing of foreign countries and never created so many enemies overseas."

John Kerry

"The only war he has been responsible for starting" added Bush, "is the matrimonial war with his lovely wife. He will need to draw on all his Vietnam combat experience to survive that one."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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