Written by Jalapenoman
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Topics: Mormon, Bra, Utah, Skank

Sunday, 1 July 2007

image for Utah Legislature To Outlaw Skank Clothing
The new no-no in Utah

The Utah State legislature voted unanimously to outlaw the "skank" uniform in all public schools and in public places. Effective September First, it will be punishable by a fine (escalating amounts for repeat offenders) to wear certain items of clothing outside of the privacy of your home.

Representative Clyde Smith of Orem said, "You ever seen them slutty girls wearing their black bras with their white tops? What about them girls wearing bras underneat their tube tops with the straps hangin' out? Then there's them girls what wears their pants so low thier crack is sticking out in back and you know they've been shaving up front. All that stuff is gonna be illegal as hell."

"We're also goin' after them girls what got their thong panties straps showin' above their waists and them girls that wear black or red panties underneath white pants or dresses. That just ain't right."

"We also don't want none of then John Bennett Ramsey style clothes that makes little six year old girls look like twenty year old street walkers. Children should not dress or look like prostitutes! Any parent that does that to their kids is goin' ta jail too!"

When told that most of these "fashions" had been around for a few years and were becoming accepted in most of the country, Smith responded by saying "well that just ain't right. You keep yer Paris Spears and Britney Hiltons and their white trash styles somewheres else."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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