Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Topics: Dogs, Fish

Friday, 29 June 2007

image for Chupacabra wins World's Ugliest Dog title; taken by authorities to National Achieves, not Area 51 for study
Cheney posts missing pet posters in Washington, D.C. for his pet Chupacabra

Washington, D.C. - Officials at the Marin-Sonoma County Fair confirmed they mistakenly awarded a Chupacabra by the name of "Elwood" the title of the World's Ugliest Dog at last Friday's competition. Fair ground officials contacted the authorities, which immediately took Elwood into custody.

Previously thought to be a legendary creature that feeds on goats by sucking their blood in the region of Central and Northern America, biologist from the National Institute of Zoology and members of the military are carefully studying the creature in a secured famous facility known as the National Archives.

"In the past we would have taken the creature to a secured facility like Area 51," said General Buster Mills. "But with today's political climate the way it is, the National Achieves is the securest facility we could ever think of. No one uses that place any more. That's for sure."

"It is uncertain what exactly we are dealing with here," said Philip Cody, Zoologist. "So we are running the full gamut of tests to help us determine if it a new species of animal never encountered before or even an extra terrestrial."

If it is an extra terrestrial, scientists are convinced they are not dealing with a sentient being for the fact that it lacks the ability to communicate beyond expressing its most basic needs. Also, because they found a Bush/Cheney 2000 election campaign button on the creature and a copy of the U.S. Constitution with a red line crossed through the 14th Amendment.

"It's most likely an extra terrestrial's pet of some kind," said Prof. Cody. "Just whose. That's what we are trying to ascertain."

Scientists later confirmed they were able to trace the creature's previous residency by voter registration records.

"It appears the creature was registered as a Republican in the state of Texas but later registered in the state of Wyoming," said Prof. Cody. "It is a mystery though why the creature would do such a thing, unless it was attempting to mimic some kind of learned behavior it had observed before."

Authorities will continue observing the creature for now. Animal rights activist have inspected the National Achieves and they are satisfied the creature is being treated humanely and confirm, "It has plenty of room to run and play in the near empty hallways and record rooms."

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