Written by ChillerBaggins
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Thursday, 28 June 2007

image for Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road

VATICAN CITY, Rome - The Vatican has issued a translation from the Latin, to the Italian, to the English, of the document from the Pontifical Council for Migrants and Travelers, titled "Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road."

Driving offers the positive aspect for the possibility for self-improvement deriving from getting to know other cultures and people with different ethnicities and customs. Just don't go near atheists, Jews, Mormons or Moslems.

Travelers spirits may also be uplifted by contemplating the various religious symbols to be seen along a road or railway.

These include churches, bell towers, chapels, column tops, crosses and statues, as well as places of pilgrimage like Hooters which may now be reached more easily by using modern means of transport.

Therefore, road and rail transport are a good thing. Burning of oil related products is not. It is the "sweat" of God.

The Word of God illuminates the road, not Cats Eyes or road side lights.

The Bible contains continuous migrations and wanderings. The Patriarchs, Abraham (cf. Genesis 12:4-10), Isaac (cf. Genesis 26:1,17,22), Jacob (cf. Genesis 29:1; 31:21; 46:1-7)) and Joseph (cf. Genesis 37:28) led a Winnebago motorhoming existence.

When their descendants had become a numerous people, Moses drove them out of Egypt in a fleet of Ford Capri's (cf. Exodus 12:41- or quarter to one), crossing the Red Sea bridge (cf. Exodus 14) and motoring into the desert (see Exodus 15:22 - or 22 minutes past 3pm).

The psalmist (cf. Psalms 107 [106]:7) indicates the "straight way" on which the Lord leads, whilst the prophet Isaiah calls for preparation of the highway of the Lord. In other words - PLEASE give way to GOD at all times.

Jesus also sent his disciples out onto the road. Indeed, he sent them out, two by two, in Chrysler Minivans to proclaim the Good News of the Kingdom.

Christ is the Way, He is the Road...

That appears to be the loose translation.

---
According to The Graduate Center (City University of New York [CUNY]), 91.6% of U.S. citizens consider themselves religious.

Make ChillerBaggins's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 5?

3 22 25 15
82 readers are online right now!

Go to top