Written by Cal Jennings
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Wednesday, 27 June 2007

image for Paris Hilton, Released from Jail, Vows to Do Good, Now Works for Ron Paul Revolution
Paris Hilton after being released from jail

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Los Angeles - Paris Hilton was released from jail today, and she now says that she vows to do good. Her first act was to join the Ron Paul Revolution.

She has hired Britney Spears to perform for the campaign, Rosie O'Donnell and Charlie Sheen to educate people about the 9/11 conspiracy. She hired Pamela Anderson to teach that marijuana isn't as bad as other drugs, including alcohol. She hired David Beckham to appeal to sports fans.

To highlight some of the injustices of the campaign and hired Borat, to give a comedic take to Ron Paul being excluded by Neocon Republicans. Taking a tip from Bill Clinton's campaigns, she is offering a currency converter on all of Ron Paul's websites for those who live out of the country who want to contribute. She is hiring Viggo Mortensen, Aragorn from Lord of the Rings, to wield a sword and shout of the rise to freedom from tyrany, and Mel Gibson to shout, "They may take our lives, but they will never take our FREEDOM!"

Some sources say that Paris Hilton is working on getting Bill Clinton to play saxophone for Ron Paul's campaign. Just how she's "working on him" wasn't revealed, but it was found that she just ordered a box of Cuban cigars.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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