MONTREAL - Forming an unlikely alliance with the Bloc Québécois, US Vice President Dick Cheney has barricaded himself in a corner office of the party's headquarters with a large-caliber machine gun and a sandbag bunker.
Speaking via megaphone to a mediator he declared himself an independent rogue nation called 'Guantanamo North'. He also listed his demands as follows:
- A jet must fly him to the 'country' of Wyoming.
- Scooter Libby must be released.
- The TV must stop reporting that there are two homosexuals in the building.
"Are my methods unsound?" asked the fully-camouflaged Cheney in near perfect Quebec French. "I am not part of the Executive Branch. Some might say I am part of the (expletive) Branch. I like to think I have more in common with the Branch Davidians than anyone."
Concluding his rant he shouted to the nearby crowd of onlookers "Remember Oka!" -- an obscure reference to the 1990 crisis between indigenous Mohawk people and the 'authorities' -- clearly perceiving himself unaccountable to any authority.