Written by SpaceElevator
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Topics: Dick Cheney, Canada

Wednesday, 27 June 2007

image for VP Cheney Secedes, Relocates to Quebec
Montreal authorities keeping order at the scene

MONTREAL - Forming an unlikely alliance with the Bloc Québécois, US Vice President Dick Cheney has barricaded himself in a corner office of the party's headquarters with a large-caliber machine gun and a sandbag bunker.

Speaking via megaphone to a mediator he declared himself an independent rogue nation called 'Guantanamo North'. He also listed his demands as follows:

  • A jet must fly him to the 'country' of Wyoming.
  • Scooter Libby must be released.
  • The TV must stop reporting that there are two homosexuals in the building.

"Are my methods unsound?" asked the fully-camouflaged Cheney in near perfect Quebec French. "I am not part of the Executive Branch. Some might say I am part of the (expletive) Branch. I like to think I have more in common with the Branch Davidians than anyone."

Concluding his rant he shouted to the nearby crowd of onlookers "Remember Oka!" -- an obscure reference to the 1990 crisis between indigenous Mohawk people and the 'authorities' -- clearly perceiving himself unaccountable to any authority.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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