Britney Spears's friend and confidante, Wal Astoria, has revealed that Britney is suffering from Alzheimer's, a disease more often associated with elderly people.
Apparently she is the youngest person to have ever suffered from the disease and Mr. Astoria claims that her Alzheimer's is responsible for her irrational behaviour.
"Britney is a girl of great moral turpitude," he told a TheSpoof.com reporter. "She would never deliberately go out without underwear; the fact of the matter is that she simply forgot to put any on."
He also claims that her recent head-shaving was another illness-induced mistake. "As the world now unfortunately knows all too well, Britney likes to shave her nether regions. She was having a particularly bad day that day and absent-mindedly shaved her head instead. A 'bad hair' day, you might say."
Mr Astoria admits that Miss Spears will be furious when she finds out that he has revealed the fact of her illness but he defends his action by saying that if people knew the truth they might let up with the constant vilification. "Anyway," he said, "she'll be mad when she finds out but she'll have forgotten about it a couple of hours later. That's the beauty of Alzheimer's."