Written by Buck E Filbert
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Topics: Paris Hilton

Thursday, 21 June 2007

image for Paris Hilton's Release Monday, Neighbors Brace for Impact
Helicopters are taking reservations for fly overs

Paris Hilton is set to be released on Monday from the Lynwood Correctional Facility where she's been doing her time.

In retrospect, maybe Paris has been treated unfairly. The judge made an "example" of her because of who she is. When Sheriff Lee Baca said, "infractions such as these are generally early releases", he was being straight.

Overcrowding in the system leads to priorities: murdrers, rapists and child molesters, stay incarcerated. Traffic violators get cut loose and it makes sense. This system of releasing non violent, victimless crimes is logical if you look at the alternative of having no space to house armed robbers and the such.

Now Paris's neighbors are bracing for the impending onslaught of paparazzi, media, police and helicopters about to descend on their peaceful enclave. The situation seems different this time because there will be nothing to see. There is no court order to surrender to the Sheriff's department that caused the first crazy rush of press. There will be no pictures of Paris in handcuffs being led off to jail. Where are the sensational shots going to come from? There will be none. It's not like Paris Hilton shots are difficult to get when she's free.

One of Paris's neighbors said, "we're all tolerant of each other, Paris brings excitement to the area, I think the neighbors are just jealous of all the attention she gets."

A Buck E prediction: a couple of reports from in front of her house, there's nothing to see and nothing to report, she's out, end of song and dance. Then on to Nicole Richie's case,


From the desk of
Buck E Filbert
06.21.07

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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