Written by John Andreini

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Topics: George W. Bush

Tuesday, 19 June 2007

image for Bush's Birthday: Bash or Bust?
Gee Tony, you really can't make it?

Los Angeles, CA - A well-known Hollywood talent agency has confirmed today that it is filling an order for 100 extras to appear at a White House function on July 6. The company would not reveal the purpose of the event, but July 6 is President Bush's 61st birthday.

Confidential sources close to First Lady Laura Bush say that she could not find anyone in Washington, D.C. or Texas who was willing to attend a birthday bash for her husband. White House staff members were ordered to appear at the party, but more bodies were needed to fill out the crowd.

Conspicuously absent from the list of those invited was Vice President Cheney, who, according to our sources, told Mrs. Bush that he would only attend if the president agreed to bomb Iran. The president's daughters, Barbara and Jenna, cannot attend due to previous social commitments in Rio de Janeiro.

Insiders at the talent agency say the White House budget for the extras was extremely small, which meant the attendees would need to be bussed in from films being shot near the nation's capital. The extras will include actors portraying Aryan nation gang members, zombie circus clowns and gay midgets.

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