The five New York crime families have voted Paris Hilton's mug shot the best ever. The five families; Massino (Formally The Bonnanos), Colombo, Gambino, Genovese, Lucchese; have just met in Hidden, upper New York State, for the 45th annual Omerta. "Mum's the word..", joked Paulie 'The Spass' Mozzarella.
Despite the frivolity, the serious business of drugs, guns, prostitution, loan sharking, protection -- and picking the best mug shot, has been in full swing.
Despite John Gotti being the perennial favorite out of respect, a broad (un pompinaio) is still worth two decomposing bodies in the woods. "Con 'Three fingers, four toes' Coorlione, the fag, wanted Nick Nolte, so we whacked him..", said Little Paulie 'Big fat' Parmesan. Anthony 'Tony Ducks' Salvatore will dispose of the body in the trunk, in woods on the way home. "I spent thata mucha time in them woods, I oughta take a picnic", Anthony said. That un pompinaio needed to get planted anyway. Nessuno me lo ficca in culo!
"I mean, the broad (Paris Hilton) looks like she done it, but forgive la fica, or she'll hire us to whack you," said Made Eddie 'The Lizard' Napoletano. "That's our kinda pompinaio, una bella fica. And I bet tua madre si da per niente!"
High powered get-away cars were used to leave the confab without paying. Little Micky 'Stinky' Merda shouted out his car window at the bewildered owner of the meeting restaurant.. "Vaffanculo a Lei, la sua moglie, e' la sua madre. Lei e' un cafone stronzo. Io non mangio in questo merdaio! Vada via in culo!"
FBI 'Miffed'. "Not heard on our wire taps," an FBI agent said. "We would have voted for Mel Gibson."
But then, the FBI is a conservative organization!