The fallout of the boobtube Mystery
Justin Timberlake, who accidentaly ripped off, the, unplanned, malfunctioning 'studded-snap-designed-breast cup' bustier exposing, the, itty bitty titty, that, just happened to be covered by a metal nipplet pastie.... was stunned
Now i know you ask yourself
Where can I get One?
You might ask yourself how were we able to make this available so quickly!
Well thanks to this exposure, an unfortunate garment malfunction, we are, for the first time ever, able to mass produce, reduce our costs, and bring to you your very own accidentaly manufactured metalica janet nipple ring!
nipple rings for those 8 to 80!!
small Medium and LARGE
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Parental descretion advised.
limited 5 per caller... shipping and handling extra
a small portion of each dollar will go to the michael jackson molestation fund
please read the small print for any medical conditions that might be enhanced by installing our product. People with alzhiemers should consult their doctors before using.
bee beep beep beep - This just in - Janet says today, after yesterdays denials, that there was suppossed to be a lacy bra on underneath the wardrobe and that it somehow got ripped away in the 'unplanned' incident.
..."or i forgot to put one on, I can't remember now."
wow breakaway bras!!! This is something fumbling fingered men have dreamed about for ages!
Now i know you ask yourself
Where can I get One for Valentines day?
Jessica Simpson was asked if she had been approached to expose herself-and she replied, "what kind of chicken is tuna anyway?"
CBS today is hoping that this unfortunate fallout won't be a bust for the Grammy Ratings next week when Justin and Janet are planned to appear.
CBS is studying the polls and viewer reaction to decide weather or not to bounce both performers from the Grammys.
Meanwhile, Womens rights groups, in Seattle, gathered today to protest this sexist action.
"It just goes to show the inequality between men and women!" Said one spokeswoman- "We find it outrageous that Janet didn't reach over and rip away Justin's crotch! It's a Tit for Tat issue in our opinion!"
Pepsico- pepsi- says without assurances that this won't happen again threatens to not be in next years superbowl ads - quote "It speaks to our extreme disappointment that all quality work that we had done (in our commericials) was overshadowed" unquote
(this is the same pepsi who made a superbowl commericial with a teenager telling all kids watching to download all the music they want---- pepsi used the girl who was the first person to be sued by the AMA for downloading music)
The almighty dollar-
meanwhile janets new album is released today, a month early, and sales are "unexpectedly" (unplanned?) volumptuous ... i mean i mean
Kilroy was here...
Mohammad ohmar bin OUsinni, in the UK, was reported to have commented, "This is what our fundamentalist brothers fight against! This is exactly the type of thing we try to make cherak understand!! The decadent and evil west force their women to uncover themselves in public displays of immodesty! We demand an investigation, an apology, and we want the resignations of everyone involved in this racy exhibition! This show should be taken off the air!!"
One radio talk show host reportedly recieved a call this morning from an irrate superbowled mother who said her 8 year old son ran into the kitchen, turned gansta rap on the sterio full blast, and then jumped up on a chair, and grabbed a fistful of his mothers blouse and began yanking on it yelling, "i want you naked before the end of this song" "i want you naked before the end of this song"
when asked whatever possesed him to do this the young boy insisted on taking the 5th, but was heard mumbling as he rocked to and fro
"The TV made me do it, The TV made me do it, The TV made me do it. Holy Shit! I want a BUDLITE!!!"
The mother was last seen heading to the store, in her chevy truck, to get a bar of soap.
newsreporter: "So How Did You FEEL when you saw Jacko's sisters full moon orbitus exposed on National internaitional worldwide Television?"
"i was so shocked i just couldn't enjoy the rest of the game." said one patron of an irish pub in Iraq. "I doubt i will ever be able to watch the SuperBowl again without nightmares and mental anguish. My attorney says i probably have a good case"
When George W Bush was asked, "How did you feel when you saw Janet jackson expose herself in front of hundreds of millions of veiwers?" he said he didn't know because he fell asleep during halftime. An undisclosed source, however, reports that George actually grabbed his crotch and called Tony Blair to see what the latest intelligence reports had to say about weapons of mass distraction. Tony wasn't awake either, but a report read to George, said that a horse was going to blow a fart thru a candle and into a womans face, whooooosche, and light her hair on fire, so George told Laura to wake him up at commericials and went back to sleep.
Were SuperBoob commercials a Bust too?
In other news...
Who the hell Won The SuperBowl? Anyone know??