The White House has promoted Dick Cheney to "Acting President" while "W" enters the Iraq war as a fighter pilot.
"I am a decider an I decided to drive the plane!" says W. "I'm glad to see him go, uh, I mean to join in his country's defence," adds Cheney.
"W" is ready for action and will be flying over Baghdad several times daily from now on. "I ain't scairt," says W walking down the runway in his new flight suit.
Of course no details will be released concerning Bush's flight schedules, but we can all breathe easy now that we know "W" is in the air defending us from terrorists in Baghdad.