Written by Steffan Lewis
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Wednesday, 13 June 2007

image for Bush Wristwatch Planned Daring Defection
Bush accuses an innocent bird of stealing his watch

In an unusual twist, the George Bush wristwatch has revealed that it planned its own disappearance. The valuable timepiece is currently in hiding in the Albanian countryside and in a secret interview told a BBC reporter of its remarkable defection.

"Keeping time for the president has been like hell on earth," it complained bitterly. "He wound me up to the point of distraction."

The gold watch admitted that it has already sold exclusive rights to its story. "I have had a unique perspective of Bush's presidency from his left arm. But enough was enough and I had to get away from it all."

With a sad tick the watch explained that its guilt was intolerable. "I have marked time during some of the darkest moments in modern history. I couldn't go on. It was unbearable and alarming."

Fearing for its life, the Swiss-made 32 jewel shock proof watch will remain in hiding. "Bush has every reason to be worried. My story will shock the world."

Future plans include a book publishing deal, a feature film and a new job keeping time for an Albanian basket weaver.

George Bush is currently assessing the situation. "I was thinking of getting a Casio anyway. I prefer watches without a big hand and a little hand. Digitalizationed watches make telling the time so much easier."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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