Written by Chad Topple
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Wednesday, 13 June 2007

image for Romney eats Red Meat

Foxnews, MSNBC, CNBC, CNN, ABC, CBS, CNNHeadline News, FOX, AARP, PETA and all other news organization are reporting that Mitt Romney ate scrambled eggs for breakfast with bacon, melon, orange juice and tea.

Mr Romney's campaign manager's were quick to point out that Mr. Romney has been a life long breakfast eater and that he often eats meat from animals that have been killed in a violent way.

Reaction to the story from other presidential campaigns was swift. The Guiliani campaign claims to have video of Mr. Romney while campaigning for Governor of Massachusetts claiming to not particularly liking "red meat" and primarily eating lobsters, clams and calamari and of course COD.

John McCain's campaign was waiting to hear back from the Bush administration before responding to the story.

Fred Thompson's non-campaign manager indicated that if Mr. Thompson were in the campaign that he could eat more bloody meat than any other Republican Candidate, that he would kill it himself, that he would clean it himself, that he would cook it himself and that he would shove it down the throats of all the other candidates, if he was in the campaigns. The reporters for all of the networks immediately dropped to the ground and thanked God for Fred Thompson.

In a related story, all of the major networks continued to ignore Ron Paul and all of the other candidates, but especially Ron Paul.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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