Written by Lorenzo Lee
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Friday, 6 February 2004

WASHINGTON - President Bush today announced that Mr. Justin Timberlake is to be awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor for "bravery in the line of duty," specifically for finding the "key" in the search for the missing Weapons of Mass Destruction.

"Janet Jackson's right breast, if viewed carefully, has a red button which, if pressed, will detonate all of Saddam's hidden weapons of mass destruction. Mr. Timberlake, risking shame and life in front of an audience of millions, answered his call of duty to his country---for this only the highest merit award does this brave young man deserve," the President read in a statement at the Rose Garden.

Ms. Jackson is now in the custody of the U.N., where her left breast will be examined by Secretary General Kofi Anan for another possible button.

UK Prime MInister Tony Blair also thanked Mr. Timberlake and plans on awarding him the rank of knight this year .

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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