California's Ninth Circuit Court is once again causing controversy, this time for ruling that opposite sex marriages cannot be recognized in the states which are under the court's jurisdiction.
The affected states, California, Alaska, Arizona, Idaho, Montana, Nevada, Oregon, Washington, and Hawaii, have millions of opposite sex couples who now split up.
"This is an outrage!", according to the Reverend Pat Robertson.
"Yippee! Papa's havin' biscuits tonight!" Exclaimed former President Bill Clinton. When reminded that he was a resident of New York, a state not covered under the court's ruling, Clinton grew visibly depressed.
In addition to banning opposite sex marriages, the Ninth Circuit legalized gay marriages in all nine states. "Tragically, this news comes too late for Liza and David Gest, but we hope the ruling helps out other same sex couples", said a court spokesman.