Written by iamwhoam
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Friday, 8 June 2007

Corcoran State Prison, CA --Convicted mass-murderer Charles Manson has today been released from Corcoran State Prison for medical reasons, but will be confined to his home with an electronic ankle bracelet for 48 years.

Reggie Dunbar, spokesperson from the prison, said that the California District Attorney's office granted Manson's release shortly after it was informed he had had a herpes rash that looked like a "swastika" on his forehead.

"Poor Charlie, he was really embarrassed, I can't imagine the emotional scars this has left him with," Dunbar added.

The release of Manson has followed a mass exodus of prisoners from California prisons in what has been called, "The Herpes Defense."

Dunbar stated, "Once prisoners found out that a case of Herpes could get them them transferred to a home detention, the California prison population had a herpes outbreak that would rival USC's Fraternity Row, both of which came from the same source."

According to Dr. Reggie Athansoulis for the Center of Disease Control, herpes traditionally effects one in eight Americans, or basically everyone in California.

"It's not life threatening, "Athansoulis said, "but it certainly threatened the show, 'The Simple Life,' where it originated."

The Herpes Defense has now become a part popular culture, with reports of it being used in every day life. Reggie Stanthorpe, from Media watchdog group, Media Connection UK recently said, "Herpes is like a modern day Moses, leading prisoners out of prison, getting people out of traffic fines, excusing kids for late assignments. It's no longer acceptable to blame traffic or 'the baby' for running late for social functions, but it's perfectly acceptable now to blame herpes."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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