Hollywood, D.C. - Paris Hilton was released from prison today and is serving the rest of her sentence under house arrest - not at a Hilton hotel. "That joint sure didn't smell like a Hilton and there were no chocolates on my pillow. And no pillow on my bed. And forget the bed!"
Given a get out of jail pass, flags were once again raised on Rodeo drive, while the black drapery on all the store front windows was removed. The paparazzi collectively ripped off their black arm bands in a ceremony, though Versace canceled production of a fashionable orange jump-suit, - one size fits all - to be worn with five inch Jimmy Choo stilettos, and a cluster of gold handcuff bracelets from Bulgari for each wrist. The outfit was set to fit in a newly designed Hermes bag.
Martha Stewart, Dr. Kevorkian and Paris Hilton out, but Scooter Libby on his way into the slammer. Whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden, wanted dead or alive?
Hearing of I. Lewis 'Scooter' Libby's sentence, Vice President Cheney voiced his regret for Libby's children, but no regret was voiced for outed CIA operative Valerie Plame's children or Ms. Plame's network of outed agents or their children.
Learning of Ms. Hilton's release from the big house, Dick Cheney got a hold of Scooter Libby, suggesting that once in jail, he too could throw a tantrum and be released, followed by house arrest like Ms. Hilton.
"Maybe Versace will restart production on their fashionable orange prison jumpsuit line they had going for Paris Hilton. We can all start wearing orange jumpsuits in sympathy for your plight," the vice president nimbly suggested. "One size fits all. Skip the high heels and gold bracelets. I'll look like an orange Winston Churchill. I can get the President and Laura to each wear one, and Condoleezza Rice can wear one with her thigh high boots A little S&M, but it can't hurt."
"That's just about as dumb and harebrain as your telling me to out a CIA operative so we could keep the green light going on the war with Iraq and Halliburton could rake in a fortune."
"Yeah, right! But it worked, didn't it?"