Written by Jalapenoman
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Thursday, 7 June 2007

image for University and College Students Protest Current Degree Plans
Students will travel to Washington from all over the country

College and University students in the United States have decided to form their own million man march on Washington to protest discrimination in the current degree systems. The students feel that the current system are biased and discriminatory to them and that degrees should be handed out more fairly.

Said Todd Wayne, student at Arkansas State University, "it just ain't fair. I wanna go to school and get me a degree. I want me a PhD, but they tell me I gotta get an associates, then a bachelors, then a masters, and then maybe I can try for one. I just wanna major in PhD and get me a degree so I can get into the work force and contribute to society. I don't want all them other degrees, I just wanna get one. Since it's two years from step to step, I wanna jump into it in the middle and just do them last two years."

Russell Tavits, undersecretary of Education, was confused by the protest. "He wants to major in PhD? Is that like getting an associates degree in Masters? Am I supposed to take this boob seriously?"

Todd Wayne has a plan. "I figure that if we get a couple of busloads from each of the fifty states, we outta be able to get a pretty big group to march. Since it's summer break, we won't have to miss no classes or nothing."

When asked how the buses were supposed to get to Washington D.C. from Hawaii, Wayne was not impressed. "Duh," he said, "on the interstate! They can take the freeway like everyone else!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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