Written by Warren Redlich
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Tuesday, 5 June 2007

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Democrats panic as Ron Paul wins debate

Ron Paul pulled off a surprise victory in the debate between Democratic presidential candidates on June 3rd in New Hampshire.

While Paul is not a Democrat and was not actually at the debate, his ideas about the Iraq War dominated. Candidate John "The Hair" Edwards criticized Senators Hillary "Tonya Harding" Clinton and Barack "BO" Obama for not leading on the issue, while Obama retorted that Edwards was late to the party himself having voted for the war originally.

Dark horse candidate Dennis "Who?" Kucinich said that real leadership would have been shown by voting against the war in the first place. At that moment, moderator Wolf Blitzer stunned the candidates and the audience by asking Kucinich if Ron Paul had shown leadership on Iraq.

Kucinich collapsed in spasms on the floor. John Edwards rushed off the stage while protecting his mane from the wind. Barack Obama tried to calm the crowd by smiling, but it fell to Hillary Clinton to save the day. She threatened to show Blitzer what really happened to Vince Foster, after which Blitzer apologized profusely.

A CNN Internet poll conducted shortly after the debate showed Ron Paul winning with 30 percent of the votes, just ahead of Hillary Clinton with 29 percent. The Ron Paul campaign could not be reached for comment, but they have previously denied any plans to run as a Democrat.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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