Written by CommonMan
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Topics: Police, Weather

Monday, 4 June 2007

image for Police investigate strange lights downtown
This poor child couldn't believe his eyes

After two uninterrupted weeks of rain and overcast skies, the Dallas Police Department has responded to dozens of reports of strange light above downtown's tallest buildings.

A police spokesperson reported that over four dozen calls were logged between 6 a.m. and 9 a.m. Many people returning to work after another rainy weekend reported what looked like CSI teams on the tops of neighboring buildings. "There must have been at least ten officers on top of that building. They were walking around like they were looking at something in the sky."

Police Chief Davin Kunkle will hold a press conference later today to share the Police Department's initial findings in hopes to quiet fears of local residents.

Local weatherman, Pete Delkus, however, may have an answer for the strange sightings. He said, "The recent rainy and overcast weather pattern that we have experienced locally has finally given way to a bit of sunshine. Maybe with so much rain, local residents forgot what the brightness of the sun looks like. The strange light being reported across the city is really just sunshine, unimpeded by clouds."

In what could be related news, the D/FW chapter of the American Cancer Society issued an emergency alert to the residents of North Texas to use sunscreen if they were going to be outside for more than 20 minutes during the heat of the day. Too much exposure to direct sunlight can cause severe sunburn which can lead to skin cancer.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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