Written by Zander Kaufman
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Topics: John Kerry, kansas

Monday, 2 February 2004

image for Sharpton, Kuncinich, Nelson Beat the crap out of Kerry

Today while visiting a Kansas city liquor store presidential hopeful John Kerry was attacked.

It all started when Kerry was leaving the store. When a white Cadillac pulled up and stepped out democratic contenders Al Sharpton, Dennis Kucinich and country music legend and Kucinich supporter Willy Nelson.

At this point not much was said, in till Nelson took his 1930 classic BB King singed guitar, which he had been carrying it with him for forty years, and smashed it over Kerry's head.

It shocked Kerry's entourage, when his security detail tried to intervene, Sharpton fended them off with a broken colt 45 bottle.

Nielson and Kuncinich spent five minuets whaling into Kerry. However when they could not fend off Kerry's men, they returned to the car and sped off, leaving Kerry's badly beaten body behind.

Kerry was rushed the Kansas city metro hospital where he's in critical but stable condition.

Kerry was not able to comment, but his doctor stated "he'll be fine, but it will take more then Botox to fix his problems"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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