President Bush once again defended his decision to go war today in a news conference.
"North Korea represented a gathering threat and we needed to stand shoulder to shoulder with our little yellow cousins in Seoul to show the evil dictator Kim Jong Il that the United States wouldn't sit idly by and watch the North Koreans develop weapons of mass destruction. We did what we had to do, and I for one am comfortable with my decision to invade the country."
When informed that the United States invaded Iraq, not North Korea, the President responded, " What? That can't be right. My intelligence said it was North Korea. You mean I told them to invade Iraq? Boy, is my face red. I really gotta have a talk with the head of the CIA, Peter Gaglione ."
When informed that the head of the CIA's name was George Tenet, Mr. Bush responded, "It is? Gosh, who the hell have I been talking to all this time? You know, this is actually kind of funny when you think about it. I have a feeling that one day we'll look back on this and just laugh and laugh."
Unnamed Administration source Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse was quoted as saying, " I know that this latest interview makes George Bush look stupid; after all, he invaded the wrong country. That still gets us over at the White House. He said Iraq when he meant North Korea. And it took him months before he realized the mistake. But you gotta understand, it was an honest mistake. I mean Iraq and North Korea are relatively close...ok, so they're not that close, but the names sound...ok, so they don't sound that much alike. But still, Ayatollah Khamenei was a real threat and he had to go."
When informed that Ayatollah Khamenei is the leader of Iran, not Iraq, Waterhouse said, "This is all beside the point. Whoever we attacked and deposed had to go and if I were you, I'd stop making trouble or we'll be after you next."
When asked what my name was Waterhouse responded, " Why, it's...uh...it's..."
This reporter will continue to attempt to uncover the truth, but if Tom Hanks gets arrested in the process, it will be an honest mistake.