Written by Zander Kaufman
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Topics: Iraq, Music

Saturday, 31 January 2004

image for ABE Lincoln Reanimates kicks President Bush's Ass, destroys White House

Washington George Bush and country music star Toby Keith met with Chief burros of the MUGO islands today to thank him for there support in the invasion and occupation of Iraq, MUGO population 400 and is on the list of the coalition of the willing.

The speech took place in the Lincoln room, in the White House. "Three thousand years ago Abe Lincoln freed the slaves, today we free the people of Iraq from the Evil-doers, President Bush said.

Moments later In a shocking display of supernatural power the life sized bust of Abraham Lincoln came to life, he then grew to ten feet, the secret service was at a stand still "we didn't know which President to protect.

"He (Lincoln) put his boot in their ass's" one secret service officer said.
"Christ!" George Bush screamed
"not quite, it's honest Abe, I'm back to cut down your Government tax shelter"

Lincoln then brandished a large double headed Ax, and yelled "it's reckoning time"

He started to swing the ax tearing up carpet and antique furniture, but he then went for the jugular. The White House started to collapse.

Ironically the USS Abraham Lincoln scrambled fighter Jets, but it was too late, there was nothing left.
However President Bush called for the immediate bombing of the Lincoln monument in Washing DC, in fear that to could be a threat.

President Bush is minus a White House, he then called for ninety day working vacation.
Bush was not available for comment however his press sectary stated "well, you just can't trust guys with beards"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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