Detroit, MI (FP) Republican Candidate Mitt Romney has reverted back to selling used cars at Sal's after already exhausting his millions in the first push of his campaign.
"Hey buddy, have I got a car for you." Romney was heard shouting, while combing his hair back. "This 'nused' Chrysler is an off-lease vehicle we got from the Mormon Church. Probably driven by a little old lady." he pushed to the elderly woman looking around the used car lot.
"I am really just looking," she answered quietly.
"No one is just looking, sir." he answered, as he grabbed her arm and pulled her over to the 'bait-n-switch' lot.
A senior spokesman for the campaign mused about the dire situation, "He is back in the saddle again. This is political gold. He is a commoner once again."
"You're fired" Romney charged at the senior spokesman for his bankrupt campaign. "And quit following me around, damn it!"
Romney has spent almost 90% of his amassed $250 million in the first push of his campaign. "He spends money like a drunken sailor." John McCain stated, once again, at another failed attempt at wit. "How can he be entrusted with the nation's pocketbook when he has spent so much in so little time." he snickered, almost like a pot calling a kettle black.
"So far ol' Romney's had a hard month." Sal reported. "I din' know if I can keep him around too much longer. These guys have to produce or they're history."
"I guess the thousands of 'Mitt Romney for 08' license plate surrounds were not purchased wisely. I may have also spent a little too much on the slue of commercials during the Super bowl, as well." Romney lamented about his dwindling campaign finances.