The National Rifle Association, enduring guardians of the right of Americans to keep and bear arms, have announced that the second amendment also includes the right of individuals to possess nuclear arms.
Actor Charlton Heston, a longtime spokesman for the NRA, said the constitution speaks for itself. "Had the founding fathers intended for us not to possess any certain types of arms, I am quite sure that they would have specifically named them. Read the constitution yourself. It says nothing about prohibiting nuclear arms."
The NRA plans a media blitz, educating the public regarding the right of individuals to possess nuclear weapons. Included in the campaign is a thirty second commercial, which shows frightening images of Iranian leader Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and North Korean despot Kim Jong Ill. The commercial ends with these words, "When they outlaw nuclear weapons, only outlaws will have nuclear weapons."