United States General Ricardo Sanchez has warned that the presence in Iraq of such terrorist masterminds as Abu Musad Zarqawi and Hasan Ghul are proof that the instability in the country are the direct fault of Saddam Hussein. " If Saddam hadn't lost the war, allowing us to come in and screw up security, then these evil doers would never have been here in the first place," said Sanchez, " So you see, all this terrorism is actually Saddam's fault."
Unnamed White House source Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse was quoted as saying that the Administration is going back over every terrible thing that happened in the last three years in an attempt to lay the blame at Saddam's door.
" First off, 9/11 is definitely his fault...the President was so obsessed with getting Saddam that we weren't looking at anything else. Looking at it that way you could say that if Saddam were involved with 9/11 we would have found out about it sooner and stopped it, so in effect his lack of involvement was the reason it happened. It's really was his fault.
When queried as to how to remedy the Iraq situation now that Al Qaeda is firmly entrenched, Waterhouse said, " Well, one option that we're studying is to put Saddam back in power and let him clean up the mess. It's his fault anyway, so why should he get off with doing nothing to remedy it? Plus, things were going a lot better for the Administration before we actually won the war, back when Saddam was just a gathering threat. God, those were great days... WMD's, nukes, Bio's...you know, the whole forty five minutes to destruction thing. The President was having so much fun mobilizing the troops, wearing different uniforms and waving that little sword Laura gave him; it was nice to see him so happy. Now he just mumbles a lot."