Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 26 May 2007

image for Bong Hits 4 Incest! as Creationist Museum hails Cain's Mormon marriage to sisters
This dinosaur may have been incestuous but he certainly was no fag-ass

Petersburgh, Kentucky - (Ass Mess): Global anti-Biblical humbug pressure group Bong Hits 4 Incest! has staged a demonstration in Petersburg today outside the latest Creationist Museum to open to the witless and gullible American public.

The theme park has been hailed by founding sponsors Answers in Genesis as portraying true Biblical meaning in its many displays of incestuous sex.

Referring to a tableau vivante of Abel's brother Cain screwing his sisters "among other Biblical wonders" the AIG group's Ken Ham said today: "Here you can see it all for yourselves. Cain was a typical early follower of Warren Jeffs' Fundamentalist Mormonism and screwed his sisters because he was told to do so by heavenly voices inside his head."

Other exhibits show rampant heterosexual incest on Noah's Ark including among dinosaurs, "but absolutely no signs of homosexual behavior, which The Lord outlawed then as he does today."

"What we've done here is to give ordinary folks a chance to hear information that is not readily available ... to challenge them that really you can believe the Bible's hystery," Ham explained.

The museum was due to have been opened by the Reverend Jerry Falwell who died last week.

Falwell in turn was to have cut the ribbon after Fundamentalist Mormon leader Warren Jeffs was arrested on child rape charges.

Nobody knows who will actually do the honors now at the official opening ceremony on Monday.

"We'd sure be happy if some White House-approved Corrupt Bastards Club member was available. Anybody know if Pat Robertson's busy?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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