Juneau, Alaska - (Ass Mess): Global warming fears are preying on the minds of Juneau residents after four torrid weeks of big oil graft-peddlers Corrupt Bastards Club headlines which exposed the bribing force behind state legislators preaching climate change denial.
"If something isn't done soon the icy mountain tops could melt, depositing a torrent of glacial alluvial material that would coat the town in a permanent blanket of debris - a kinda Baked Alaska to use a culinary term," said local eco-warrior Mr Dave Walrus.
The analogy is apt given the cookery book definition of the dessert delicacy also known as 'omelette à la norvégienne', 'Norwegian omelette' and 'omelette surprise' as an ice cream dish baked in a blazing hot oven after an aerated meringue mixture sheathes the frozen center.
The term Baked Alaska was first named in 1876 when Delmonico's Restaurant in New York City created a dish to warn about fledgeling Alaskan Big Bastards Club meddling in the local oil industry.
A variant on the dish called Bombe Alaska is named after oil industry terrists who called for some dark rum and oily molasses to be splashed over their Baked Alaska desserts.
This dish was then lit up in a culinary procedure called flambé - much in the same way that an oil wells were torched by rival gangs in the pay of local Bastards.
The dessert is still a hot favorite in Corrupt Bastards Club-owned catering establishments around the world.