Written by Jack Battler
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Wednesday, 23 May 2007

image for Al Gore Files Lunar Warming Lawsuit
Lunar warming scare drives new lawsuit.

Washington D.C. - In yet another bizarre consequence of global warming science, claims that global warming has spread to the surface of the moon and possibly other planets within the solar system has prompted enviro-religious leader Al Gore to file a class action lawsuit against NASA for damages done to the moon during exploration in the 1960's and '70's.

According to Gore human activity on the surface of the moon started a series of climate changes that have resulted in the moon being irreparably damaged. Gore is filing the lawsuit on behalf of future generations who may inhabit the moon and who will have to deal with the "irresponsibility of the NASA imperialists."

"When you see Armstrong set foot on the moon in the classic film of the moon landing," said Gore. "You might feel a sense of pride in what humans can accomplish. But all I feel is contempt and revulsion at what that footstep did to the fragile and precious ecosystem of the moon. And I think about the wide-eyed innocent children and unborn puppies that will never get to play low-gravity games on the surface of the moon."

Gore said that walking on the moon, along with use of the moon rover - a car-like vehicle used to explore the moon's surface - began a ripple of destruction that has hurt the moon in ways we don't even understand yet.

"We really don't understand yet," Gore said, "how much damage those cowboy astronauts have done. But just like a butterfly flapping his wings in the rainforest… those tragic footsteps are surely affecting the moon in ways we can't possibly understand. That's why we need to impose severe penalties on NASA for their reckless behavior."

In addition to a multi-billion dollar penalty, Gore recommends a new tax be initiated that will go to pay for prayers for the moon and for the planting of trees.

"Someday we will be able to plant a tree on the moon and it will be a beautiful thing," Gore said. "Until that day is possible I will set up an organization to administer the official "Pray for the Moon" agenda with the funds generated by the new tax and from the lawsuit. I already have a lot on my plate just keeping people confused about temperature change on the earth, but if it means the difference between saving the moon and letting it die a cold horrible death, I will do my part.

"The thing is," Gore added, "We need to act now while there is a fervor over global warming or else we will lose our chance. If you get a bunch of scientists and guys like that looking into this then there will be all kinds of debate and dissenting opinions and we may never be able to save the moon for the children. The American people do not want that to happen."

In a related controversial lawsuit, actor Eric Idle is threatening to sue NASA as well since Monty Python once used the moon in one of their movies.

"If the moon is in trouble it may hurt the marketability of our movie containing the bit about the moon," Idle said.

NASA has so far not commented on either suit.

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